In Hosea 2:16, God says, “In that day, you will call me ‘my
husband’, you will no longer call me ‘my master’”. God is speaking to the
Children of Israel who have forgotten the relationship they were called to from
the beginning. But God doesn’t give up. He promises that they will again be in
that intimate relationship.
We, too, are in a new and more intimate relationship with
God as Holy Bridegroom. The sometimes maligned passage from Ephesians 5:21-33
gives guidelines on living in that relationship with God and each other. I say
maligned because sometimes the citation is pointed at as ‘keeping women in
their place.’ If you read it carefully though, you might see it is reciprocal. As
the first verse says we are to “Be subject to one another out of reverence for
Christ.” The rest of the passage explains how that comes about. It ties back to
the ancient understanding of ‘lordship’ and duties of Jewish husbands as ‘lord’
of the household (see June 23).
The Ephesians reading continues with admonitions to the
women, comparing their lives to the church’s relationship to Christ. To have
the marriage relationship compared to the perfected relationship of God and
Church (not the current, imperfect one) is rather special. "Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the
Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the
church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to
Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.”
Notice that the husband is
‘head’, i.e. ‘lord’ over the wife in the sense of caring for, providing,
protecting. The husband is not lord in the ‘I’m the boss and do as I say’
power-grabbing way. Verses 25-29 expound on the responsibilities of the
husband. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing
of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor,
without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy
and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they
do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates
his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does
for the church…”
It seems to me that in this
citation, despite popular (mis)conception, the husband has the harder task. He
is ordered to be Christ-like with his wife and ‘give himself up’ because ”husbands
should love their wives as they do their own bodies.” It is important to notice
that Paul says “he who loves his wife loves himself”. Rather another twist on
the “love your neighbor as yourself” commandment.
Paul concludes by saying, “For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.” He admits, “This is a great mystery, and I
am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his
wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.”
Throughout these meditations on
the Holy Bridegroom, we’ve seen how God chose and then redeemed us as Bride.
This is “in order to make [us] holy…to present the [Bride] to himself in
splendor…so [we] may be holy and without blemish.” While the Church as a whole
is the Bride of Christ, we are also, each of us Beloved and individually a
bride of the Holy Bridegroom, “because we are members of his body.”
As a member of the Body of
Christ, our relationship with one another should be of “loving [our] neighbor as
self”. We are as John Donne said, “a part of the main”* and as Paul stated we
are “individually members one of another” (Romans 12:5) We may not live into
the relationship with the Holy Bridegroom perfectly, but we can be assured that
the Bridegroom won’t give up on us!
*No Man Is An Island
No man is an
island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were:
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were:
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
Next week starts a new train of
thought…based on some of the Psalms.
