During the Easter season, we are looking at some mothers of
the Old Testament who trusted God through good times and bad. Sometimes they
struggled to understand why God acted (as in sending a flood), or did not
act-by giving a child. Eventually, they each came to believe that, as Paul
says, “all things work together for those who Love God,” and certainly for
those whom God loves.
Leah was a woman who doubted that she was loved. You
remember the story in Genesis. Jacob runs off to his family in Haran to escape
the wrath of his brother Esau. The first person he meets is Rachel. In
storybook fashion, he falls in love with her and agrees to work for 7 years as
an indentured servant to her father Laban in order to marry her. On the wedding
night, Laban tricks Jacob and he discovers that he has married her older, and
not as attractive (at least to Jacob) sister, Leah. Ultimately, Jacob works for
another 7 years to earn Rachel, again. All that is enough to make anyone wonder
if they are lovable or loved.
In Beloved Leah,
my book in which Leah tells her story, she doubts that she is lovely and lovable for most of her life.
Despite bearing Jacob sons and faithfully caring for them, and raising her
sister’s two sons Joseph and Benjamin, she never thinks it is enough.
How many
of us wonder if we are doing all we can as mothers, wives, women,
workers…whatever the titles we give ourselves might be?
It is not until she is nearing death that Leah finally realizes
that she has been pushing away the very thing she has desired. Jacob has loved her,
and so had God. As they journey toward Egypt and reunion with Joseph, Leah
falls ill. We meet her at that moment:
A rustle
of movement and the tent flap was pushed aside.
The warm breeze from outside brushed across the woman on the
pallet.
She roused
to call again, “Rachel!”
“Hush, my
wife,” Jacob knelt and took Leah’s hand.
“Rest and be well. Rachel is not
here. We will travel together to her
son. I need you, do not leave me.”
The woman
tossed her head restlessly and opened her eyes.
They softened when she saw the man kneeling beside her. She seemed to
return to the present from somewhere far away.
His eyes filled with tears as he caressed her weak hands.
“My
husband,” her voice was gentle. She
tried to lift her one hand to touch the man’s face.
“I never
understood,” she murmured.
“Leah, you
are the strong, faithful woman I am honored to call my wife,” the old man
kissed the hand he held. “Your belief in
the One God has strengthened me in the darkest times. I need you now to go with me to Egypt. Together we will find our son.”
A slight
smile crossed her lips as she reminded him, “Rachel’s son, my love.” She took a deep, ragged breath. “I never understood your love for Rachel. Through all her childless years and her
whining your devotion remained strong. I
was angry and bitter for I thought that you had nothing left for me. The God of your Fathers has taught me that
love can be boundless.”
Her head
moved fretfully against the pillows and Zilpah hurried to adjust them. Bilhah brought a cup of water. Gratefully the woman drank.
Slowly,
she turned her hand in her husband’s so she held his fingers. Pleadingly she looked at him.
“Jacob, my
husband,” she continued her confession, “my venom taught our sons to hate their
brother. God has shown me that He has forgiven
me, for Joseph is restored to you. Your
God has taught me that even such grievous fury as mine can be forgiven.”
Tears
trickled down the old man’s cheeks and he kissed her wrinkled cheeks.
“Leah,
beloved Leah,” he whispered, “you too have I loved.”
With a
great effort, the woman feebly touched the cherished face behind the graying
beard. Her voice was a sigh. “I know
that, now. All I ever saw was Rachel,
loved by our father and then by you for her beauty. Never could I believe that I was lovable. My jealousy poisoned my sons against their
brother. When you see Joseph, ask him to
forgive me.”
She fell
silent while the man wept unabashedly.
Her eyes closed and she seemed to drift into a doze. Then suddenly she opened her eyes.
“Call my
sons,” her voice was stronger and urgent, “I must tell them to let go of their
hatred before it consumes them as it did me.”
At a nod
from Jacob, Bilhah went to the tent flap and ushered in the eleven waiting
men. Zilpah helped her mistress sit
up. Jacob held his wife cradled in his
arm against the mound of pillows. She
seemed to gain strength looking at the big men she bore and raised.
“My sons,
hear my story,” she said looking at each face in turn. “Give up the anger you hold in your hearts
against your brother. It will only
destroy you as it consumed my relationship with Rachel.”
Reuben,
the first born, leaned forward. His
mouth opened on a denial. A slight shake
of his mother’s head stopped him.
“Hear my
story,” she repeated, “it was always Rachel who was adored by everyone. She received special attention because she
was lovely and pleasant. I was envious
and my hostility grew.”
The men
crouched around the pallet while Zilpah held the cup of water for Leah to take
another sip. Then she began …[later, after
she finished telling her story]
The old woman looked around at
her sons. Tears glistened in their
eyes.
“For too long, I raged against
Rachel and against Jacob for not loving me,” she said. “I wanted them to love
me for being beautiful. Too late I have
learned and understand that they loved me for who I am.”
Jacob bent his head to kiss his
wife’s forehead. “You are my faithful
Leah. You are the strength of the
family,” he whispered.
She seemed almost beautiful as
she smiled softly up at the man.
“My husband, God is your
strength. He will be with you to bring
you to Egypt and back. Your God always
keeps his promises.”
Turning her head, she admonished
the eleven men still crouched near the bed.
“My sons, you are all my sons,
though I didn’t bear you all. I have
raised you and watched you grow into good men, true husbands and loving
fathers. Do not forget the God of Israel,
your father, when you are in Egypt.
Remember and teach your children how He showed grace by redeeming your
anger and restoring your brother to you.
Joseph has forgiven you. Accept
that gift. My God has forgiven you as he
has forgiven me. Do not be afraid. Trust in the God of Abraham, Isaac and
Jacob. He has promised to bring you back
to this land as a mighty nation. Let go
of the remaining fear and grudges against your brother. Do not continue to blame yourselves. The mighty hand of God has turned our evil
designs and anger to great good for all.”
Lying back, the woman closed her
eyes. A slight smile slid across her
lips as a breath sighed, “Rachel, Rachel, I must tell…”
Jacob heard the softly spoken
words fade.
“No!” The cry wrenched from him in agony as he
gathered his wife close. Unashamed he
wept. Zilpah and Bilhah raised the
mourning cry. Dinah fell across her
mother’s lap wailing and her brothers took up the keening through their
tears. Throughout the camp, each person
added a voice to the lament.
“We will bury Leah in the cave
where Abraham and Sarah and my parents are buried.” Jacob instructed his sons in the
morning. He looked very old and the men
glanced at each other in concern.
“Leah, my beloved, here next to
Abraham and his cherished Sarah you will rest.
As Isaac and Rebekah are side by side, so shall I return to be buried
beside you, my faithful Leah. My dearest
wife, you reminded me of the faithfulness of the One God by your words and
deeds. I will go to Egypt but my joy in
Joseph is less for I am without you.”
Jacob’s words were spoken through tears as he laid his hand on hers for
the last time before leaving the cave.
The days of mourning ended and
the caravan faced southward toward Egypt.
The mood was sorrowful as sons and family missed the gentle hand of the
woman. For so many years, she had been
the inspiration of the tribe. Jacob was
not the only one who missed her guidance and love. Dinah divided her days between her family and
her father. Like her brothers, she
missed the encouragement of her mother even as she took over the duties of
overseeing the camp.
Gradually, however, the
excitement of reaching Egypt and seeing Joseph again began to occupy everyone’s
thoughts.
“I will see my son.” Jacob told
his sons daily. Ten of the men wondered
if their half-brother would turn on them after the family was safely settled in
Egypt. “We must not be tempted by the
ways and gods of this land,” the old man warned his sons. “The children must learn all that the God of
our fathers has done. They must learn of
the blessings and promises given to Abraham and to my father Isaac and to me.”
Levi
nodded when Jacob added, “As my beloved Leah said, ‘God is gracious and has
blessed me fully throughout my life.’
The One God will be with us in Egypt and like Abraham the Wanderer, we
will return to Canaan a great nation.”
Leah found her long-sought-for love and
her real faith in God too late. Each of us can take a lesson from her, and
accept God’s love now. We can embrace the love of family and friends, esp. on
this Mother’s Day weekend. It is the perfect time to think about our own
mothers, and the Mother-like love of God.
Will you, do you, allow God to love you like a mother?
Can you accept the love God offers through the lives of family and friends?
Ann Voskamp offers a challenge: "Share one word of affirmation and one word of advice" [with other women].
(Image: Original cover, Beloved Leah, (c) 2001)
(c) Cynthia Davis 2017
