Showing posts with label SSJE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SSJE. Show all posts

February 20, 2022

Blessed are the Peacemakers

 We are nearing the end of the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5. After looking at the poor in spirit, the mourning and meek, the merciful and pure in heart, we come to the line that says blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Peace can have many meanings. We can have a peaceful day or a peaceful view. We yearn for peace that is an end to war and division. As the image notes, we can offer peace to someone else by our caring. We want to have peace of mind and pray for the peace of God.

Jesus says that peacemakers will be called children of God. I am reminded of the old hymn They Cast their Nets in Galilee* by William Alexander Percy. The hymn notes that the “peace of God…filled their hearts brimful, and broke them too.” It ends by reminding us “The peace of God, it is no peace, But strife closed in the sod. Yet, brothers, pray for but one thing—The marvelous peace of God.”

Peacemaking requires action. It requires casting nets and sometimes leaving them for a new way of living. Peacemaking is heartbreaking work because it can require all our heart in order to make a different way. Peacemaking can be exhausting when there seems to be no peace to be found. In a world of pandemic, division, injustice, and threats; peacemaking isn’t easy. The good news is we aren’t alone.

Laurie Gudim in the February 7 edition of Episcopal CafĂ© notes, “We’re staring at empty nets after a long night of fruitless fishing. This Pandemic is really taking it out of us. We are weeping for lost loved ones. We are struggling against uncertainty and confusion, helpless to figure out what to do next…”

She continues, “into the middle of our exhaustion and our gloom, here comes that guy, that Christ – that uncomfortable splinter of holy perspective we have never been able to dig out of our hearts. “Do it again,” he says. “This time go out into the deep water. Cast your nets there…Do what you are good at, what calls you. Yes, cast out your nets. Again.”

Peacemaking means never giving up, continuing to cast our nets. Gudim states “he is calling us, and so we go…We just go because he has said to go, and we throw our nets into the sea one more time.” Perhaps this time the nets will find a harvest of peace, of understanding, of hope, of love. In fact, Gudim promises, “We are not alone, we are not lost, and we are overwhelmed with abundance….He has a job for us. There is no getting around it.”

Peacemakers cast their nets to encompass the good and holy dream where the wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them (Isaiah 11:6). That often means confronting whatever it is that is preventing peace. Peacemakers, like prophets, name the evil and work to cure it. Only in the hard work of striving for peace and justice can we bring about "The dream of God is that all creation will live together in peace and harmony and fulfillment. All parts of creation.” (Verna Dozier)

Br. Woodrum, in the January 2021 meditation referenced last week, reminds us, “Jesus' gospel message was that we were all created in the image of God, with the capacity to mirror the same loving-kindness that is God’s essence, that is chesed. We show this by following his example: by being merciful, engaging each other with compassion, listening to each other intently, and when necesssary asking God for the courage to speak truth to power.

Shane Claiborne in Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals says this: “Peace is not just about the absence of conflict; it’s also about the presence of justice…true peace does not exist until there is justice, restoration, forgiveness. Peacemaking doesn’t mean passivity. It is the act of interrupting injustice without mirroring injustice, the act of disarming evil without destroying the evildoer, the act of finding a third way that is neither fight nor flight but the careful, arduous pursuit of reconciliation and justice. It is about a revolution of love that is big enough to set both the oppressed and the oppressors free.”

We are called to move forward as bearers of peace and justice to bring the Kingdom of God more fully present each day. 

Can you ‘hand someone a bit of peace’ and ‘mirror’ God’s chesed’ today?

What part of the work of the Dream of God are you called to participate in?

Are you ready to join the ‘revolution of love’ Claiborne talks about?

February 13, 2022

Blessed are the Pure in Heart

 It seems fitting that this Beatitude falls on the day before Valentine’s Day. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God is a lovely promise. Of course we all like to think of hearts around Valentine’s Day, too. What does ‘pure in heart’ mean, and who is Jesus referring to?

Commentators like Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers note, “The purity…is not…[like the Pharisees] outward and ceremonial, [nor limited to]…sensual sin; but it excluded every element of baseness—the impurity of hate or greed of gain, no less than that of lust.”

Jesus was especially critical of those who practiced outward piety but didn’t have a true relationship to God. In Matthew 23 he confronts and warns the religious leaders, The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat… but do not do as they do, for they do not practice what they teach…you lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. For you do not go in yourselves, and when others are going in, you stop them…Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess...you are like whitewashed tombs, which on the outside look beautiful, but inside they are full of the bones of the dead and of all kinds of filth...

The religious leaders of Jesus’ time were not ‘pure in heart’. Yet, they were sure that they were doing exactly what God wanted by following all the proper rules. Br. James Woodrum of the Society of St. John Evangelist (SSJE) noted last January, “Jesus' message was that holiness was not determined by being set apart as morally superior to others but rather by exhibiting the highest attribute of God, what was known in Hebrew as chesed, which is translated as loving-kindness or compassion. This is what Jesus exhibited in each of these encounters with the Scribes and Pharisees. These men, groomed since a young age to shepherd their flock, did not recognize the characteristic that most defined the God to whom they belonged. This is what pained Jesus so intensely...” 

Jesus calls the Scribes and Pharisees “whitewashed tombs” because they didn't understand God's love and mercy. I know I can fall into the trap of thinking that going to church and being charitable and following rules is the key to being on God’s good side. I forget to practice chesed. When I really examine my conscience, I find that there are some dead bones lurking around. Those bones of festering biases and hatreds which I try to keep hidden but secretly nurture keep me from being ‘pure in heart’.

What can I do, what can we do to clean out those old bones? The Letter to the Hebrews counsels, pursue peace with everyone, as well as holiness, without which no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14). The Old Testament reminds us that we have a faithful God keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments (Deuteronomy 7:9). Love isn’t sentimental or soft and fuzzy, despite all the messages to the contrary around this time of year. Love is a deliberate intention to see each other through God’s eyes, even if we really don’t want to be friends. Like the penguin in the image, we may find it difficult at times (or often), but God asks us to persevere.

As Presiding Bishop Curry says regularly, “If it’s not about love, it’s not about God.” Love, peace, mercy and more love—even for the ones we would rather not like, maybe that’s the key to having pure hearts this Valentine’s weekend. 

Is there a festering bone or two you may want to clean out?

Who might you try to love, even if you don’t like them?

December 25, 2021

Christmas: Love

 In the well-known Thirteenth Chapter of 1 Corinthians St. Paul notes that Faith, Hope, Love remain and the greatest of these is love. Having looked at Kindness, Peace, Joy, and Hope over this Advent season, we now come to the core—to Love. To the “Reason for the Season” as popular memes put it.

Love—this is not a hearts and flowers sentimental, commercialized version where everything looks like a Currier and Ives Christmas painting with everything pristine and white and happy.

The Love of God is something much different. It is the promise found in Isaiah 11:1-10 which imagines a world where the wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them…They will not hurt or destroy on all my holy mountain… Speaking about this promise, Br.James Koester of the Society of St. John the Evangelist says, “As Christians, we wait not so much for Christmas, as for the day when God will reorder all creation, so that predator and prey will live in harmony, and the most vulnerable will live in peace and security. This is the vision of Isaiah, and the hope of Advent. It is the work of Jesus, and the prayer of the faithful.” 

The Love of God looks like a Jewish baby born into a humble family in the midst of a world held in tenuous peace only through the might of Roman occupiers.  

The Love of God looks like a teenage girl saying ‘Yes’ to the unimaginable and even dangerous task of bearing a child into the world of oppression and danger.

The Love of God looks like a foster-father racing with his small family to Egypt to save their lives.

The Love of God is the found in Jeremiah’s call to action that tells us For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope (Jeremiah 20:11). We are part of bringing the Love of God to the hurt and brokenness of our world. Our world of pandemic and division and racism and fear and hopelessness hopes for a new way, a true hope, a real Love.

The Love of God is, as Presiding Bishop Curry noted in an interview in October, “[when] people to build relationships across differences and face painful truths…'How do we talk about love to people who don't want it?' he was asked. 'Love them anyway.'” 

The Love of God is you and me seeking to acknowledge, forgive, and heal our own woundedness so that we can see everyone (even those we don’t like or even fear) as bearing the imprint of the Holy and deserving of the same Love we crave.

The Love of God can be found in the small acts of kindness, peace, joy, and hope that we offer one another daily. Let’s enter the new year with the intention to build up and not tear down, to heal and not rend, to offer an open hand and not a closed fist.

May your Christmas be filled with the Love of God.

Image by Laura James on Pinterest

July 18, 2021

Story: Meeting

 Since the end of May, the beginning of the church season of Pentecost, I’ve been thinking about how our Words and our Stories (personal and corporate) impact our lives and interactions and belief systems. These in turn can define how we identify one another, and even the ways we may label someone who is different or has a different story as ‘wrong’ or even ‘evil’.

There is so much division over what may seem like small, obvious, or even petty things from one person’s viewpoint, but which are of valid and deep importance for someone else. Whether to wear a mask or not, getting or not getting a vaccine, how things have changed over the past year, due to COVID, and what will the ‘new norm’ look like, buying meds or groceries. The list goes on and on because we all have things that are important to us, that may not be important to others. 

It is so easy to judge someone else's choices or decisions based on superficial things, and our own way of looking at the world. When we look with God's love and God's eyes, we can learn compassion and have greater understanding of each Story. And we can remember that each story is part of the total STORY of God's love and work in the world, even those we might initially categorize as wrong or strange. 

How do we get past our initial reaction that is based in our own Story? I think one way is to step outside our comfort zone, to meet and interact with people we don’t know. Believe me, that is something I find very difficult and extremely uncomfortable. I don’t like to be vulnerable or feel that I am not in control of a situation. I don’t think we can force a meeting like this, though.

We can’t just walk up to a stranger and ask their life story. As the image says, we can always act with love and compassion. “If you see someone falling behind, beside them. If you see someone being ignored, find a way to include them. Always remind people of their worth. One small act could mean the world to them.” My small smile might open the door to a further conversation later.  Maybe the ‘hello’ to the neighbor who is of a different ethnic background or race helps you start a conversation later.  

I think it comes down to what Br. Nicholas Bartoli (SSJE) says in his July 11, 2020 post: “For Jesus, defeating your enemy had nothing to do with swords or armor. No, the only true way to defeat an enemy, even if the enemy is just an idea or way of thinking, is to accept the enemy, in love and compassion, until we stop seeing an enemy at all…After some prayer and consideration, and in keeping with Jesus’ core teachings, I came up with five gifts of the spirit which would prove helpful on the spiritual battleground: love, compassion, wisdom, courage, and grace. First of all, we have love, and by love, I mean God’s Love with a capital “L,” not just the pleasant emotion. God’s Love means accepting something, just as it is, with our whole heart. Second, we have compassion which means to suffer with. Assuming we’re gazing upon something, say an enemy, in Love, then compassion easily follows. In accepting someone fully as they are we not only see the story we create about their role in our pain and suffering, but we see their pain and suffering as well. Third, there’s wisdom…seeing God’s truth in the world whatever the source. With wisdom we see that we could be doing a lot better practicing the Love and compassion of Jesus. With wisdom we see clearly and humbly our need to fully accept ourselves, Love ourselves, and have compassion for ourselves.  Fourth, we have courage. It takes courage to follow wisdom wherever it leads, because wisdom will bring to light unpleasant or painful shadows, within ourselves and others. It takes courage to Love our enemies when hate can be deceptively attractive. It takes courage to feel compassion for our neighbors, leaving our hearts open to their pain. And…grace. This one is cheating a little, really, since God’s grace isn’t a personal attribute. Still, it might be the most important stone, because it’s only by God’s grace that we can hope to see the fruit of those other four. All we can do is admit our reliance on grace, and thus let ourselves be open to God’s gift.” Defeating Enemies – Br. Nicholas Bartoli – SSJE

To start a journey of hearing and understanding one another, we first need to meet and get to know each other using love, compassion, courage, wisdom and grace. To really do that that we have to Listen. We’ll think about that next time.

January 3, 2021

The Spirit of the Lord: Anointed

 We are coming to the end of the Season of Christmas. Wednesday, January 6, is The Epiphany when we remember the arrival of the Magi, and the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles. During Epiphany I am going to journey through the familiar words of Isaiah 61:1-4. This is the citation Jesus read in the synagogue at the beginning of his ministry as recorded in the Gospel of Luke (4:18) I invite you to come along on this journey.

The opening phrase of Isaiah 61 says, the spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me: The same can be said for each of us. The Epistle from last Sunday reminds us that we are adopted children and beloved by our Abba/Amma. Paul says we have received adoption as children. And because you are children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” (Galatians 4:5b-6)

Therefore, God’s spirit is within and upon you and on me. Br. Curtis Almquist of the SSJE stated in his December 29, 2019 sermon, “If…you are asking the question, maybe desperately, whether God is with you, the answer is “yes, absolutely.” The question is not whether God is with you, but how God is with you? “

We can all agree that 2020 was a difficult year with lots to grieve and many times to ask ‘where is God?’ The answer is, God is in and around and through all things and all times. Even in times of difficulty and fear, we can, as Br. Curtis continues, “Take the risk of being as adventurous and as courageous as the Blessed Virgin Mary, Blessed Joseph, Zechariah and Elizabeth, the shepherds, the Magi to believe it be so that God is with you in both the night and the day. Bear the beams of God’s light and life and love with extravagance, wherever you can. There’s more where it all came from: God’s light, to lighten the way and give you delight… which is very good news, indeed.”

In the tender retellings of the Christmas story, it can be easy to forget the reality for Mary and Joseph was hardly easy. The Rev. Megan E.Thomas reminds us, “we still commemorate the moment that the God of creation chose to enter human history, in a time and a place that held its fair share of loss, of poverty, disease, death and oppression. We hear again the stories of Jesus’ birth as told in the Gospels of Luke and Matthew. We remember that Joseph and Mary traveled far from home because the emperor wanted a census. We remember that there was no room for an expectant mother in the inn at Bethlehem, so she gave birth among the livestock and placed the Baby in their feeding trough…This Christmas season, we remember that in the midst of loss, all is not lost: God is with us. You see, unto us the Child was born, unto us the Son was given.” 

There is another quiet moment in the Christmas story that is often skipped over. The Child and his mother arrive at the Temple for purification according to the law of Moses, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (Luke 2:22). While there, they encounter Simeon (Luke 2:25-32).

Michelle Thomas-Bush notes in the December 29 D365 devotion, [we] “want to take a peek at the baby Jesus and then head on home. Simeon lingered. Simeon held the baby Jesus in his arms. Holding a baby is a holy experience. Imagine it. You are gentle and awkward until the baby settles right into the crook of your arm. Then the whole room goes quiet and you can hear your heartbeat and every movement of that sweet little one. Things could be out of control around you but in that moment, holding the baby, there is a deep breath of peace. Maybe we need to be like Simeon and hold the baby Jesus and open our eyes to see the possibilities and promise of this Christmas.” 

What might happen if we enter 2021 knowing that the Spirit of God has anointed, and indwells, us?
How might we live if we really held and beheld the face of God in the Infant Jesus?
Would it make a difference in our day-to-day lives if we knew that we are each named as Beloved?

Br. Curtis suggests that we would “Mirror that light into the face of others...Presume that the reason you are yet alive, for as much as one more day, is to participate in the life and light and love of God. You are a living mirror. Bear the beams of love. Look upon others and be radiant with God’s love for them. They may otherwise never know in this life – or at least not know in this day – how much God loves them. And what shame to go through a day without being reminded how much God loves you. Mirror that light into the face of others, and with the extravagant generosity of God. You need not speak; simply be a mirror of God’s life, and light, and love upon the face of others.” 

This image, grabbed from Facebook says it another way: 

How do we mirror light in everyday life, in the midst of social distancing, and contention? Before we leave the Christmas season completely behind. Before we take down all the decorations and pack them away. Before we move into whatever 2021 may offer, I would urge you to take a pause, take a breath, cuddle the Infant Jesus. Look into his eyes and know that you are held just as tenderly by the Holy One who has created you, who adores you, and who promises that you are anointed to go into the world to mirror that light and love.

November 8, 2020

A Time to Love; A Time to Hate

 We are almost at the end of our look at Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. The eighth verse begins by saying there is a time to love, and a time to hate. It seems a harsh comment. After all we are supposed to love your neighbor as yourself.” According to the Pulpit Commentary, Aristotle said something similar when he quoted a maxim of Bias (Rhet. 2:13): “we should love as if about some day to hate and hate as if about to love.” One could ponder if he was influenced by the writer of Ecclesiastes.

Jesus mentions this Ecclesiastes verse during the Sermon on the Mount. He says, ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:43-48) Jesus changes the focus. It's no longer OK to hate an enemy (be they Roman or Samaritan; or of another religion or political party; or someone who has a different viewpoint). Rather, Jesus says we are to love and pray for everyone, even (esp.?) those who we feel persecute us by actions or words or beliefs. 

That's hard. It's no wonder Jesus got into trouble with the leaders of his time. In fact, he was calling his first century hearers, and us, to remember that the Book of Leviticus, centuries earlier, admonishes You shall not hate in your heart anyone of your kin; you shall reprove your neighbor, or you will incur guilt yourself. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:17-18)

Now that the election is over, the contrast of loving and hating may take on an important meaning. We dare not hate those who have differing viewpoints. There is much to heal in the nation, and in the world. Division-whether political or racial or cultural or gender is not a reason to hate. 

Division calls for listening and hearing and learning someone else’s thoughts and feelings. If we can really listen and hear one another, we may just discover that we want the same things. We want to be loved and understood and to feel secure. We want to know that we are valued for who we are. We want to know the love of God, which passes knowledge and be filled with the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:19)

We want what Stevie Wonder sings about—“a time to love”*. Wonder says we are able to find time for racism and criticism, debating and judging, conquest and hatred. But, Wonder asks, “when will there be a time to love”? The song notes, We have a choice to make/Father God is watching/While we cause mother earth so much pain…Now's the time to pay attention/Yes now is the time to love.

It’s been noted many times that this pandemic of COVID19 has made us see that we are all interconnected. Yet, that does not stop us from putting up walls and pointing angry fingers. Let’s start finding ways to heal the divisions. It’s what we are called to do as followers of the One God who is LOVE. We don't have to wait for political leaders to start the process. Before the election many churches held vigils for peace and reconciliation--we must continue that work in our own spheres of influenceThis image from the Society of St. John Evangelist (SSJE) might give us some simple guidance as we move forward.

Can this unsettling time of pandemic and politics and unrest become a time of remaking and learning to find commonality and love?

What could possibly be more important than finding common ground and reconciliation in all relationships and facets of our lives?

Is there something I can do today to start a bridge to bring peace or reconciliation--to show God's love? 

*A Time to Love/Stevie Wonder (2005)

We have time for racism
We have time for criticism
Held bondage by our ism's
When will there be a time to love

We make time to debate religion
Passing bills and building prisons
For building fortunes and passing judgments
When will there be a time to love

At this point in history
We have a choice to make
To either walk a path of love
Or be crippled by our hate

We have time to cause pollution
We have time to cause confusion
All wrapped up in our own illusions
When will there be a time to love

We have time to conquer nations
Time for oil exploration
Hatred, violence and terrorism
When will there be a time to love

At this moment in time
We have a choice to make
Father God is watching
While we cause mother earth so much pain
It's such a shame

Not enough money for
The young, the old and the poor
But for war there is always more
When will there be a time to love
me for paying taxes

Or paying bills and buying status
But we will pay the consequences
If we don't make the time to love

Now's the time to pay attention
Yes now is the time to love, love
A time love, love
A time to love

Please won't you tell me
When will there be a time to love
Please won't you tell me
When will there be a time to love…

Next week we conclude the Ecclesiastes study as we consider the last phrase: a time for war, a time for peace.

September 27, 2020

A Time to Embrace; A Time to Refrain from Embracing

 Last time we considered the first half of Ecclesiastes 3:5, which says there is a time to throw, and a time to gather stones. The second half of the verse tells us there is a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.

Some commentators suggest that contrasting the ‘time to embrace’ with ‘time to throw stones’ highlights the dichotomy of love vs. violence. In our current normal of social distancing, this verse may take on a new and important message.

Nancy Severin, the Daughters of the King Province 7 President recently noted, “Considering these very difficult and uncertain times, this verse stands out—A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” She says, “Due to Covid-19, we have refrained from physical embracing, and it has been one of the hardest things to accept. We thrive when we are able to touch, hug and embrace. This constraint has been polarizing in its interpretation, effectiveness and resistance to any authority outside our own. We are hurting, and yet, because of the mandate of isolation, we are embracing in a new way.”

We are social beings, and we do like to hug and gather together. But right now IS a time to ‘refrain from embracing’ for the good of the larger community. As Nancy Severin notes, we are also embracing in new ways. Whether that’s via phone calls, or on Zoom, or sending notes, or waving to one another from a good social distance, we can indeed connect.

In some of our new or renewed connections we may start healing the divisions built up by our personal “busyness” over the years. We may be calling friends and neighbors to check up on them. We may be sending notes to family members or shut-ins we haven’t seen for years. We suddenly are more aware of the 'essential' workers among us, who literally risk their lives so we can go to the grocery, or have our trash picked up, or ride a bus. We may even be listening to voices of the disenfranchised population around us. I’ve heard many reports of people joyfully attending online worship services who were not able to go to in-person events due to health or transportation or distance. They have felt separated from the community, and are now able to reconnect. 

I think there are many ways of embracing one another, even without physical touch. Even as we ‘refrain from embracing’ physically, we can embrace virtually and from a distance. We can make connections in new and important ways. As this image notes, to embrace is to “welcome with open arms, to hold, hug, accept completely”.

 In this COVID-tide, we are also called to embrace new ways and new ideas. Children are attending school online or in differently configured classrooms. Businesses are developing ways to work within the occupancy limits and from home. We are individually asked to embrace new ways of doing things, which we may not like or agree with.

It has been, as many news reports have noted, just over six months since this COVID-tide started (in the US at least). That six months may have felt like a lifetime, but in that time, we adapted to many changes and faced many challenges. I think we need to give ourselves credit for meeting the new demands courageously.

We may be saddened, or even angered, by the new constraints, and we can take those thoughts and fears to God. Through all the times of our lives, we can remember and be comforted by the image of the father welcoming home the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-24. The highlight comes when the son, who has taken his inheritance and wasted it returns home. While he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him… 

Despite being socially distant from our friends and neighbors, we can be assured that God is never distant! We are found and embraced right where we are, in the current moment! Brother Curtis Almquist (SSJE) stated, "We have an innate, God-given craving for a meaningful life. Meaning-making happens in the context of life as it is – not as it was, or could be, or as we may think it should be, but in life as it is. The dawning of each new day brings a fresh invitation to co-operate with God’s intentions for that new thing God is doing." 

What new thing is God doing in and through your life? 

Is there someone you can make connection with, perhaps who you haven’t been in contact with for a while?

Can you feel God embracing you, esp. on those days when you are feeling lonely and apart from friends and family?

Next week we move on to verse 6 which talks about seeking and losing. You might think about what you are seeking and what you have lost.