Lord's Prayer as a Rule of Life: Forgive

 During Lent we’re working through the Lord’s Prayer and how it can be used to inform our Rule of Life. We’ve seen that when you truly hear the words and think about them, they are a call to much deeper action, and a fuller Christian life. We’ve seen that praying Our Father is linked to centering on Jesus and God as Holy Love. Your Kingdom Come makes us aware that we need to let go of “my way” for God’s way. Last week we discerned that the Daily Bread we pray for is a way of being in solidarity with all creation. The slides for this week can be downloaded. 

The Lord’s Prayer is, as NT Wright says, a subversive prayer. We are asked to share our bread, to let go of our way for God’s way. We are called to honor the Holy in one another. Becoming a Church says, “We must break free of the church’s identification with domination systems, empire, establishment, privilege, and social and cultural traditions that have held us captive—and get back in touch with the risk-taking, liberating ways of Jesus.” That’s pretty counter-cultural, and indeed subversive.

This week we think about what we mean when we pray Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. . NT Wright calls the disciples (us), the “new Exodus people, the forgiveness of sins people…were to live, in each village or town, as a cell of kingdom-people…loyal to Jesus and his kingdom-vision.” (pg. 54) 

Jesus had a lot to say about forgiving. He warns, whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (Mark 11:25) and in Matthew: But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:15) St. Paul reminds us that we are to Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Eph 4:32) Paul continues, in chapter five. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Forgiving like that is easier said than done. Only in the power of the God of love can we really forgive those who wrong us. And only in the grace of God can we hope to be forgiven for the multiple times we, knowingly or not, oppress or hurt others.

The disciples struggled with the concept of forgiveness. The Pharisees said that you should forgive a person three times. Peter asks Jesus about this in the Gospel of Matthew “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22) On March 22,2022 Canon Rose Duncan of Washington National Cathedral offered a homily on forgiveness based on this citation. Duncan defines forgiveness as a process, but not a ‘get out of jail free’ card that eliminates responsibility or consequences. (It's about 5 1/2 minutes into the Morning Prayer.)

Last Sunday many of us heard sermons on the extravagant forgiveness of the father of the Prodigal Son. NT Wright talks about this story. He says, “If the father in the story had intended to merely tolerate the son, he would not have been running down the road to meet him. Forgiveness is richer and higher and harder and more shocking than we usually think.” (pg. 51) CS Lewis notes, “We agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.”

Max Lucado remarks that unforgiveness is like a prison in which you put yourself. (pg. 123) Tapping into the Love of God, running to meet the one who wronged us, asking forgiveness when we do wrong…all ways to be imitators of Christ.

In my book, The Lord’s Prayer: Walk in Love I use other translations of the Lord’s Prayer to help give insights. “The New Zealand Prayer Book says, ‘In the hurts we absorb from one another, forgive us.’ Using the word “hurt” reminds us that we are either physically, or emotionally, harming another who, like us, is an image of God. Realizing that we owe one another reconciliation and forgiveness, the Syrian Aramaic translation asks that we ‘loose the cords of mistakes binding us as we release the strands we hold of others’ faults.’ This notes that we are bound together even when we sin against one another. It is only in letting go of the way(s) we have hurt or wronged others that we can be truly free. It is in offering reconciliation (restoring relationship) that we free ourselves to move forward. The word itself is rooted in the Latin reconciliare, meaning to bring back together.” (Davis, pg 54)

It can be hard to forgive. Even remembering that forgiveness doesn’t excuse the fault but simply releases us, it is difficult. There are examples of those who forgive even after great atrocities. Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch Christian woman who, along with her family, was imprisoned by the Nazis because they had been hiding Jews from the Nazis. Corrie witnessed the death of her beloved family members [in concentration camp] and, therefore, had an understandable hatred for the guards who treated them so terribly. Yet, after the war, when facing one of those guards, Corrie remembered how Christ had forgiven her and asked for help to forgive the guard. As she extended her hand to this man in obedience to God, she felt overwhelming love. Writing about this experience in her book, The Hiding Place, she says, “And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on [Christ’s]. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.” (p. 247).

We can allow unforgiveness to keep us in prison and tied down. Or we can practice offering God’s love by becoming the “new Exodus people…loyal to Jesus and his kingdom-vision.” We can reclaim our identity as those “in touch with the risk-taking, liberating ways of Jesus.” We can forgive seventy-seven times and be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love…a sacrifice to God.

A prayer exercise you may want to try: Tie knots in a rope or piece of heavy twine. Make one knot for each hurt or trespass you need to forgive or be forgiven for. Pray over each knot, and as you are able to let go of that issue, untie the knot.

(Notice that a basic knot starts out as a heart-and remember that God’s will is love not punishment.)

 

Our Father: Forgive Us...

Did you do any of the suggested exercises last week? Do you look at your daily bread or communion bread any differently? As we have acknowledged in the Lord’s Prayer that God is sovereign, and that God provides for our daily needs. We now look at how God heals our brokenness. “Forgive us our trespasses/debts” we pray.

This is a difficult phrase. We don’t like to admit that we are wrong. It’s much easier to try and shift the blame. ‘It was her,’ ‘He did it,’ we insist as toddlers. Or ‘I don’t know how it happened…’ We’ve all seen the videos of animals who know they have done something wrong slinking away with tail between their legs. We don’t like to feel that shame. We don’t like to ask to be forgiven for failing. It reminds us that we aren’t perfect, and mostly we don’t like that reminder.

On Sunday we may pray a corporate prayer of confession, which keeps our individual sins and failings at a nice safe distance. We’ve all made mistakes, and I’m sure that my neighbors’ must be bigger than mine, so maybe God won’t notice my little sins when God is focusing on everyone else’s. It is easy to fall into the trap of the Pharisee and tax collector in the temple. “The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector.” (Luke 18:11)

Enter the Presence: There is a current Christian song called Forgiven by David Crowder that starkly changes the dynamic of trying to shift the blame. The words remind us, “I'm the one who held the nail/It was cold between my fingertips/I've hidden in the garden/I've denied You with my very lips… I've done things I wish I hadn't done/I've seen things I wish I hadn't seen.” Crowder’s song reminds us that we are all participants in the crucifixion. We each deny Christ, and are always doing the wrong things.

However, the song doesn’t end with the deserved condemnation. He sings “You look at me, arms open/Forgiven! Forgiven!/Child there is freedom from all of it… You love me even when I don't deserve it”

The words of the Lord’s Prayer are said in faith, knowing that in fact, we are already forgiven. Crowder rejoices “I could've been six feet under/I could've been lost forever/Yeah I should be in that fire/But now there's fire inside of me/Here I am a dead man walking/No grave gonna hold God's people/All the weight of all our evil/Lifted away forever free…You love me even when I don't deserve it/Forgiven! I'm Forgiven!/Jesus Your blood makes me innocent/So I will say goodbye to every sin/I am forgiven!”

I invite you to take time to watch the video and really listen to the words. Or read them through at the end of this post**.

Stand In Awe: As the song says, “Jesus Your blood makes me innocent”. In the Letter to the Hebrews, Paul reminds us, “Therefore, my friends, since we have confidence to enter the sanctuary by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain (that is, through his flesh), and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us approach with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful.” Paul takes it a step further and says, “let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:19-25)

Because we are forgiven, we should encourage each other to ‘love and good deeds’. We need to help each other see that we are each forgiven. The song by Crowder reminds me of the picture by Ron DiCianni of Jesus holding a man who has a hammer in his hand. There is also another, less famous one by DiCianni that shows a man with a hammer kneeling at the foot of the cross. 

Involve your Heart: Look at one of the DiCianni pictures. Have you ever felt the weight of sin as deeply as depicted in the art? Or have you felt Christ holding you and offering forgiveness?

If you have a large nail, hold it between your fingers, as in the song. Think about how your sins, though seemingly small, do drive a nail into your relationship with God.

Ask the Holy Spirit to show where you erred, or acted, or didn’t act. Write it all down and then shred it or burn it, thanking God for forgiveness.*

*From Thy Kingdom Come

This week focus on the phrase Forgive Us our Trespasses.

Next week we will consider how we can and must forgive others.

**I'm the one who held the nail
It was cold between my fingertips
I've hidden in the garden
I've denied You with my very lips

God, I fall down to my knees
with a hammer in my hand
You look at me, arms open

Forgiven! Forgiven!
Child there is freedom from all of it
Say goodbye to every sin
You are forgiven!

I've done things I wish I hadn't done
I've seen things I wish I hadn't seen
Just the thought of Your amazing grace
And I cry ”Jesus, forgive me!”

God, I fall down to my knees
with a hammer in my hand
You look at me, arms open

Forgiven! Forgiven!
Child there is freedom from all of it
Say goodbye to every sin
You are forgiven!

I could've been six feet under
I could've been lost forever
Yeah I should be in that fire
But now there's fire inside of me
Here I am a dead man walking
No grave gonna hold God's people
All the weight of all our evil
Lifted away forever free
Who could believe, who could believe?

Forgiven! Forgiven!
You love me even when I don't deserve it
Forgiven! I'm Forgiven!
Jesus Your blood makes me innocent
So I will say goodbye to every sin
I am forgiven!

Forgiven! Forgiven!
Child there is freedom from all of it
Say goodbye to every sin
You are forgiven!

Blessed to Forgive

Even with PRAYER, it can be difficult to CHOOSE to LEAD, LISTEN, and BE loving toward our neighbors and ourselves when things go wrong or it seems the world has gone crazy. It can be especially hard to FORGIVE! When things go wrong we must turn and ask for forgiveness. The deeper our relationship and the deeper the feeling of being a Blessed Child of God, the more we may realize that we aren’t always doing the ‘right’ thing. God knows we are not perfect and doesn’t expect it. Like a loving parent, God is always willing to forgive when we come and say ‘I’m sorry’.

In our relationships with other flawed humans, we may also come to the point where we need to FORGIVE someone. Purposely or not, people will hurt us. Harboring and nurturing the feelings of anger and resentment harm us much more than those we direct them toward.

Jesus talks about forgiveness many times:

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, I tell you, not just seven time, but seventy times seven…” (Matthew 18:21-22)

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus says “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” (Matthew 5:7) And then goes on to say, “For with the same judgment you pronounce, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2)

In Mark 11:25, Jesus reminds us, “when you stand to pray, if you hold anything against another, forgive it, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your trespasses as well." The Gospel of Luke says something similar, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)

On the cross, Jesus said, “Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) Many times we do not realize what our words or actions are doing to another person. Conversely someone may hurt us without realizing it. Always we are called to offer and ask for forgiveness to start the healing. 

Even in the Epistles, the need for forgiveness and understanding is emphasized. “Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32). In Colossians 3:13, we are told to “Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

There are times when we have to forgive a grave wrong. There will be no ‘I’m sorry’ coming from the perpetrator. Yet for our own spiritual health we have to find a way to forgive, even while not excusing the action. The action was evil. The person however hard it may be to see it-is a child of God. He/she is a child of the Living God who chose to make a wrong turn, to follow the wrong path, to believe a corrupt leader, or to follow a twisted ideology. We cannot excuse the action that destroyed lives (physically or spiritually), but we must recognize, incomprehensible as it may be, that God does love each and every flawed one of us.

That is true even, perhaps esp. at times like 9/11 or the Orlando massacre or school shootings. As hard as it is, we must forgive or we become part of the negative energy that perpetrates such acts. Harboring un-forgiveness hardens our hearts and leads to anger and reaction. I quoted Fr. Daniel Gutierrez last week. You may recall he said, [we have to work for] “A world where forgiveness is stronger than revenge, where empathy abounds over hate, acceptance mightier than exclusion and that the light of love and life is shining brighter than the darkness of hate and death.”

South African freedom hero Nelson Mandela said: “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” Forgiving ourselves and one another helps create that freedom. Katie Barrett Todd , the author of the June 22 daily meditation, stated, “Freedom requires us to live so that all may be free. Christ’s freedom is not for one person, but for every person. Go today into the world and fight for the freedom of another. Go today to let the world taste the unending love of Christ through loving your neighbor. And go today letting the Spirit change your motivations. Live free, and fight for freedom.”

We can offer that freedom by offering forgiveness. You and I may never commit a mass murder or abuse someone or destroy a life’s work. Our sins may seem much less, but a word spoken in anger can leave a scar. A moment’s frustration can ruin someone’s day, who then takes it out on someone else, and the damage can snowball and multiply. The little ripples of anger and negativity we may drop into the ocean of life can have long lasting effects. Strive for the straight way, and the way of hope and peace. Turn and ask for forgiveness when you do lash out. Maybe we can start positive, healing ripples in our environment.

Next week is the Fourth of July, a perfect time to consider our freedoms. Then we will continue to look at ways to live into “Loving one another as Christ loved us”.

Forgive...

Forgiveness: asking for, receiving, and esp. offering it can be difficult. Yet we are instructed by our Lord to do just that. Indeed we are to forgive 70 x 7 times! (Matthew 18:21). We are to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44) and “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13). If we can “forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matthew 6:14)

When you listen to the news it can be hard to find forgiveness in your heart for the evils of the world. How do we forgive those who murder children or who cause genocide and wide-spread anguish? Is it any easier to forgive the person who steals your peace of mind by roaming the woods and threatening lives with gunfire? What about the man or woman who thinks differently than you do or who cuts you off in traffic? Perhaps you have a personal story of someone who has caused you or your family harm-how do you forgive them?

Remember, forgiveness is not about excusing the wrong, but about freeing yourself from being trapped by the memory of that trespass. I have known people who are unable to forgive even little things and it binds them to the past and ruins friendships and makes their lives very unhappy.

Part 1

Because forgiveness is really a difficult thing, it can help to have something concrete to work on while praying for forgiveness.

One thing you can do is find a selection of twigs and small branches. Make them into a wreath, using a foam circle or just weaving them together free form. As you make the wreath pray for those you need to forgive. Start simple…with the person who cut you off at the grocery store.

You could also purchase a vine wreath from a craft store and attach the names and/or actions that you are working to forgive.

Part 2

The Aramaic translation of this line really hit home when I first read it. “Untie the knots of failure binding us, as we release the strands we hold of others’ faults” it says. Isn’t it very true that when we are unforgiving, we are really holding onto the “strands” of whatever they did to wrong us? The other person may not even know we feel hurt, but as long as we keep tying those knots, we’ll never be free.

There are many things in the world that we think we cannot or should not forgive. As I said above, forgiving is not about excusing the wrong, but really it is all about freeing yourself from being tied to the pain and anger of the memories. Sometimes, too, it is about forgiving ourselves. Too often we can be harder on ourselves than on anyone else…So if you need to ‘untie the knots…and release the strands of [our own] faults’ as you pray for forgiveness, do it.

Tie knots in a rope, one for each thing you need to forgive or be forgiven for. Use the knotted rope as a prayer aid. Pray over each knot, and as you are able to let go of that issue, untie the knot.

In writing this I started to wonder if my own unforgiving attitude toward those who have ‘trespassed against’ me is any less harmful than the fanaticism that kills others because they do not believe in the same way or agree with a certain leader…? An uncomfortable thought, isn’t it? Holding onto the “knots of failure” and the “strands of others’ faults” doesn’t solve anything. Paradoxical as it sounds, it is only in loving and “praying for those who persecute you” that we find freedom ourselves.

Next week we’ll move on to looking at Temptations!