In Biblical times, and still in some cultures today brides
and grooms had very little choice in who they married. Our modern, ‘Western’
sensibilities are probably offended by that idea. Aren’t we supposed to ‘fall
in love’? Don’t all girls want and expect a ‘knight in shining armor’? Some
have suggested that the idea of romantic love is a construct built on the idea
of chivalry, which at its core could be considered truly a search for the Holy
Bridegroom in all.
Recently, my husband has become an avid viewer of the series
Merlin on Netflix. The series is
based, as you would imagine, in the time of Arthur before he was king. It’s
made me look into Arthur and Camelot history and reality vs. legend. Apparently
the ‘real’ Arthur was not the medieval king of knights and ladies faire but a
Celtic chieftain. It was thanks to Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur and Idylls
of the King by Tennyson and that the image of chivalry, romantic love, and
gallantry emerged.
Indeed, up until fairly recently, parents, esp. fathers had
a much greater say in who married who. The union of man and woman in marriage
was often a business proposition for the betterment of the tribe and family.
Families looked for a strong son-in-law to work the farm, a sturdy maiden to
bear sons, an alliance with a neighboring lord to improve the strength of the
holding, etc.
Back to the Bible. You don’t have to look far to find that
the Biblical patriarchs also sought to build up the tribal unit. Marrying
within the family line was important in maintaining tribal purity for all
ancient peoples. Abraham sent his servant back to his home town of Haran to
find a wife ‘from my relatives.’ (Genesis 24:4) Rather than allow Isaac to wed
just any girl he fancied from the Canaanites, Abraham wanted to maintain tribal
integrity with a girl from the same lineage. 
The same thing happens years later when it is time for the
sons of Isaac and Rebekah to find wives. Esau marries a Hittite woman. Rebekah
uses that as an excuse to send Jacob safely away from his brother's jealousy.
(Genesis 21:46). Only then does Esau marry someone of his great-grandfather’s
lineage: Mahalath, daughter of Ishmael. (Genesis 28:9) Meanwhile, in Haran,
Jacob falls in love with Rachel but ends up marrying her older sister Leah
first because of the marriage laws and customs. From their children, the 12
tribes of Israel are descended.
Throughout scripture God refers to the people of Israel as
chosen, in relationship similar to choosing a bride. Psalm 135:4 says, “the Lord has
chosen Jacob for himself, Israel as his treasured possession” (or beloved bride). Isaiah 42:1 is
repeated in Matthew 12:18. “Behold my servant, who I uphold, my chosen/beloved,
in whom my soul delights.” Peter echoes the sentiment, “You are a chosen race,
a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people.” (I Peter 2:9)
The prophet Jeremiah uses the bride image openly. “’Return,
faithless people,’ declares the Lord, ‘for I am your husband, I will chose you…’”
(Jeremiah 3:14 NIV). Of course the imagery in Hosea is that of God choosing to
take back even the faithless bride. (Hosea 1-2). The metaphor continues in the
New Testament when Jesus tells his disciples, “You did not choose me, I chose
you.” (John 13:16)
Like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had brides that were chosen
for them, the Father chose you and me (male and female) as the bride for the
Holy Bridegroom. You and I are chosen as the perfect one to continue the family
lineage. I think that is pretty awesome. Paul gives the Colossians a recipe for
living out the relationship, “as God’s chosen…holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
(Colossians 3:12) We are chosen and betrothed and wed to the Holy Bridegroom
who will never leave us or forsake us (no matter what we do)! Next week we’ll look more closely at one Old Testament bride.
