Living the Way of the Heart

These Eastertide meditations have been inspired by a quote from Henri Nouwen that I used in my Footprint News e-newsletter in April  “For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way. You wanted to give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self.”

The Way of the Heart is a path to reclaiming “your identity as a free self.” e.e. cummings wrote: "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

In order to be yourself—a beloved Child of God—we, you and I, have to find the solitude and the silence to be with the Father who loves us. We also have to be in conversation, call it prayer, with our Father. Perhaps that conversation is the most important part of all into the Way of the Heart. As Paul reminded the Thessalonians: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thes. 5:16-18) Like the goslings are dependent on their parents, we need to keep our eyes fixed on our Father.

Anyone who has ever tried to live authentically and in a true relationship with God knows it’s not something we can do by ourselves. We need one another and we need our God to encourage us. As “You Raise Me Up” says, “You raise me up, to more than I can be.” In our ministry to and with one another we lift each other’s burdens and point them to the One who can truly “…raise me up, so I can stand on mountains…to walk on stormy seas.”

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.


Refrain
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.


Refrain

In another of his books (Out of Solitude), Nouwen offers advice on how to be in true relationship—a true friend. "To care means first of all to empty our own cup and to allow the other to come close to us. It means to take away the many barriers which prevent us from entering into communion with the other. When we dare to care, then we discover that nothing human is foreign to us, but that all the hatred and love, cruelty and compassion, fear and joy can be found in our own hearts…By the honest recognition and confession of our human sameness we can participate in the care of God who came, not to the powerful but powerless, not to be different but the same, not to take our pain away but to share it. Through this participation we can open our hearts to each other and form a new community…When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

It is not easy to give up being a “pleaser”. It is something that many theologians and mystics have noted. CS Lewis warns “We must get over wanting to be needed: in some goodish people…that is the hardest temptation of all to resist.” (Mere Christianity)

To be part of the “Way of the Heart” is to give up our need to be affirmed, supported, needed and simply sit on our Father’s shoulders where we become, “more than I can be.” In this week before Pentecost, I encourage you to look back at your journey since Easter through this blog. Immerse yourself in the God who calls to our heart with such a great Love that the only response we can offer is to lay our lives at the foot of the Cross. Remember your experience of the solitude and silence we explored as ways to enter more deeply into the “creative and re-creative power of God’s own Word.” If it was of help, use the ACTS method of prayer to be with God in a time of refreshment. Then, do it again and again until the disciplines become a way of life—the Way of the Heart.

By walking the Way of the Heart, we can, like St. Francis, ‘rebuild the Church.’ (As a young seeker, Francis heard a voice in the Chapel of San Damiano telling him to ‘rebuild My church’. Thinking literally, Francis set about reconstructing the building. Later he determined that God meant renewal of the people of God.)

Pentecost is one of the great feasts of the church. See you next week.