Leah, Rachel, Jacob: Truth and Lies

 Last week we met Jacob and Leah and Rachel, one of the many dysfunctional families in the Bible. While this family lived over four thousand years ago, the dynamic of competition and rivalry is still present and active in our lives. It drives our divisions and disagreements. It manifests in hate and war.

How can we combat this tendency in our lives? For Leah and Rachel their rivalry was fostered by Rachel’s inability to have children. She even bartered with her sister for some mandrake root (a supposed aphrodisiac) by offering Leah a chance to sleep with Jacob.

Our own self-importance or our perceived lack of power can make us do unhealthy things, too. At first glance these two things seem opposite. Yet, it is our desire for control that causes us to think we are wonderful, or it can cause us to think we have no control over anything.

Rachel needed to have (or thought she needed) children, especially sons. Being barren made her feel like a failure. She started to see her fertile sister as being better and having more power in the family. That led to feelings of anger, even against Jacob, and insecurity. She confronts him, When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” (Genesis 30:1)

His reply probably didn’t help the situation. Jacob snarls, “Am I God?” he asked. “He’s the one who has kept you from having children!” (Genesis 30:2)

Leah’s ability to have children seems to have given her pride. It did give her status in the family unit. When she stopped having children, she offered her maid to Jacob as a surrogate wife to keep up with Rachel’s maid. Leah realized that she wasn’t getting pregnant anymore, so she took her servant, Zilpah, and gave her to Jacob as a wife. (Genesis 30: 9)

Each of the women told themselves a lie and came to believe it deeply. Rachel believed she was no good because she was childless. Leah felt that she was, if not loved, at least honored for having many sons. The truth was that God loved both women, and Jacob tried to do so as well.

Within our own families and other relationships, we may not start a birthing competition. However, don’t we all know families where siblings try to outdo each other with better cars or houses or jobs? Don’t we all know people whose only goal in life is to have the newest and best thing on the market even if it means destroying a relationship? Aren’t there people we know who sneer at other family members because their lifestyle is different from the family norm and therefore “wrong”.

This comparison doesn’t stop with family members. Neighbors and cultures and countries that have different customs and norms from our personal ones, may be deemed ‘barbarian’ or ‘evil’ or ‘stupid’. That designation, untrue though it is, historically has lead to genocide, wars, and inquisitions among other evils.

What are the lies we tell ourselves about our families and other relationships?

Think about your own personal norms. How do they differ from other members of your family or community? Do you find yourself labeling those who think differently as ‘bad’?

What might you do to change that mindset and be more understanding of neighbors and family members who are different from you?

Leah, Rachel, Jacob: Family Dynamics

 This summer, and into the fall, we are looking at men and women in the Bible who can inspire us to remember that God uses even flawed and fumbling humanity to build the Kingdom of God. We have already looked at Elizabeth and Zechariah from the New Testament in June, and Sarah with her husband Abraham from Genesis in July. We now move forward a couple generations to look at Leah and Jacob (Abraham’s grandson). Theirs was a troubled relationship, and yet God was present and active in their lives.

Isaac, the miraculous son of Abraham and Sarah’s old age, marries Rebecca. She bears him twin sons: Jacob and Esau. (Genesis 25:19-26) We hear that Rebecca receives a prophecy stating, The sons in your womb will become two nations. From the very beginning, the two nations will be rivals. One nation will be stronger than the other; and your older son will serve your younger son. As the boys grow, the sibling rivalry seems to be fostered by the parents. We learn that Isaac loved Esau because he enjoyed eating the wild game Esau brought home, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Jacob seems to take advantage of this by tricking his brother out of his birthright with lentil stew. When Isaac is old and blind, he wants to bless his sons. Rebecca convinces Jacob to trick the old man into giving him the blessing of the first-born son. (Genesis 27:1-40). Esau is, understandably, enraged and Jacob flees to Haran where he meets his mother’s brother Laban and his two daughters. In Genesis 29, we read how Jacob loves Rachel, the younger daughter, but is tricked into marrying the elder one, Leah.

When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive. Bearing children was important in tribal cultures because it ensured the lineage. Because she cannot conceive, Rachel starts a sort of ‘birthing competition’ by giving her maid to Jacob to bear children she can claim. Leah, even though she has four children, responds by offering her own maid to Jacob. (Genesis 29:40-30:24)

Finally, God remembered Rachel’s plight and answered her prayers by enabling her to have children. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son. “God has removed my disgrace,” she said. And she named him Joseph, for she said, “May the Lord add yet another son to my family.”

The family rivalry continues to manifest and multiply between the sons of Rachel and Leah, until his brothers sell Joseph to slave traders going to Egypt, then claim he was killed by wild animals. (Genesis 37:18-36)

What can we learn from all this dysfunctional family dynamics from four millennia ago?

It would be easy to stand apart and say, ‘that’s awful and the parents should have known better.’ Then we might be self-convicted by realizing that we have our own competitive tendencies. Perhaps not amongst our families (although every family likely has some dysfunction and competition). There are other ways we can compete and try to outdo each other. Or we simply think we are better than someone else because we can do a task better, or because we are lucky enough to have more privilege.

Think about your life and relationships. Where do you find yourself in competition with co-workers, family members, or even the trap of ‘keeping up with the Jones.’ Next week we’ll delve into that idea more deeply. 

Pentecost: Rachel

Ordinary days and times. They can be tiresome if you don’t feel appreciated or loved. Rachel faced days of frustration and rage because she couldn't do the one thing she really wanted. She couldn’t get pregnant and have a son. Rachel knew she was her husband’s favorite. She is the one he worked seven years for her brother to marry. He probably was none too happy to find her sister Leah in the marriage tent. Still, she fretted, and even blamed Jacob (Genesis 30:1-3). Rachel’s great sorrow was that she had no children. So she ‘gave’ her maid to Jacob in order to claim any children that woman bore. It seems to have been a relatively common practice in ancient societies. Sort of an early form of surrogate mother, except that the maids or slave women had no choice in the matter.

How often do we compete with others who we think are prettier or more gifted or have nicer things? Rachel and Leah’s years of competition resulted in a dysfunctional family dynamic and jealousy among all the sons of Jacob. Rachel’s first born is sold into slavery in Egypt by his brothers because they were sure that their father ‘loved him best.’

It’s an age-old problem. Jesus faced it among his disciples. In Luke 9:46-48 we hear an argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.”

Jesus points to a child as the example of one who doesn’t compete for position and is content with simply being a child, loved by their parents. Philippians 2:3-4 councils that we should Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

The least is the greatest says Jesus and Paul adds that we should look out for the interests of others. That philosophy, and theology, has often gotten lost in our society where we try to have the biggest and best because that’s what the media and commercials urge us to work for.

Ordinary days and times look different depending on your perspective. A Facebook post by a friend who works with the homeless community really struck me. He says, "On my last stop at a park, I see a mother with a new born baby on a blanket. “Hi,” I call out. “What is your little one’s name? He is beautiful.” 

“Trevor,” she calls out putting one hand on his body as though to reassure herself that he is breathing.

I get out of the car to haul food and supplies over to her. “Do you have what you need for Trevor?”

“Yes, the hospital gave us a bunch of stuff before I left. I have a friend who says we can sleep in her garage at night so we will be okay. My boyfriend didn’t want me to have the child and told us to get out of his apartment a week ago but I wanted someone who would love me.”

I tend to zone out commercials, but if you really listen to the message, they are selling fear of not enough. They are sowing discontent, which, ta-da, can only be solved by buying their product which is better than similar ones or what you already have. We are told that we are inferior if we don’t have that new car or phone with all the special features. We are threatened with poverty if we don’t invest properly (with just the right company). We are tricked into thinking we can turn back the clock by using this or that potion and cream. All this consumerism and waste leads us to forget that across the globe--and in our neighborhoods--there are people who have a tiny fraction of what we throw away and they feel blessed to have it.

Rachel didn’t have commercials driving her to make purchases, but she had her own insecurities that brought her into conflict with her sister and husband. She was willing to die in childbirth just to prove she was able to bear a son for her husband’s lineage. The homeless woman was willing to bear her child, even in abject poverty, because she “wanted someone who would love me.”

Even though I think of myself as frugal, I still fall easily into the trap of getting something I don’t really need simply because it’s ‘cute’ or ‘on sale.’ I rarely stop to ask if I really need it, where the product was made and under what conditions and if the process perpetrates injustice. That is something I need to work on, and I need to learn to ask pertinent questions. If I learn to pause before purchase and ask if I really need the item, I might discover there is contentment in simplicity and that I don’t have to have the newest and best. Then there might be enough and more for the least of these who truly don’t have anything.

Can I/you find a way to think of the interests of others when it comes to whether I/you need the next biggest and best thing? Might something smaller or simpler do just as well and leave more for the next person, next child of God?

Pentecost: Leah

 We are in Ordinary Time in the church year with no major feasts. It’s also the heat of summer and that can make us feel like we don’t have any energy. Day follows day in a similar pattern. Ordinary time—day in and day out, the same things happen. It can be rather numbing.

I wonder if that’s how Leah felt. After all, she was not the pretty younger sister. She was the responsible, older sister with ‘lovely eyes.’ She worked to keep her brother Laban’s household running smoothly. Then as the wife of Jacob, she did the same. Day after day she did what was expected of her as the older sister, the one in charge, and the one who could take care of any problem.

Being the ‘responsible one’ can be quite a heavy load. You don’t want to disappoint anyone so you keep trudging forward ‘doing your duty’ day after day. The routine can blur our sight, so we don’t see God. Yet, God is there whether we take time to notice or not. What can Leah’s daily life tell us about where God shows up in our own daily lives as we live up to expectations of all kinds? And how that might be different than we expect?

Expectations are something we all have. We have expectations of ourselves. Expectations of God. Expectations of our family and friends. We also try to meet the expectations of our employers, children, friends, etc. All those expectations can pile up pretty high, as they did for Leah. She had Jacob, her sons, the rest of the tribal group, and her own self-expectations. Think about your own expectations and how you try to measure up.

How do we release some of those expectations? Jesus invites us to be yoked with him. He says Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. We are to share the burden with Jesus just as two oxen share the load of a plow or wagon. What can be too much for one animal, can easily be pulled by two. In the same way, the work that feels too heavy by ourselves can be shared with God and with others. Jesus promises rest for your souls when we don’t try to do everything alone. Just like Naomi learned last week, it is the community that upholds us in the hard times of life.

The Pulpit Commentary notes Jesus is inviting us. The Commentary says, “there is work to be done, therefore enter on it. The yoke is the service that Christ gives us to do [and] that Christ speaks of it as though almost identical with his yoke.” We each have gifts to use in the daily work and it goes better when God is part of the work.

Leah may have found her work tiresome because she didn’t recognize that in the serving of others she was doing God’s work. Brother Lawrence is famous for his words of wisdom found in Practicing the Presence of God. He found joy in finding God in all the parts of his life as a monk. After his death Father Joseph de Beaufort, of the monastery, compiled the book noting, "[Brother Lawrence] had always been governed by love, without selfish views; and that having resolved to make the love of GOD the end of all his actions, he had found reasons to be well satisfied with his method. That he was pleased when he could take up a straw from the ground for the love of GOD, seeking Him only, and nothing else, not even His gifts."

How many of us are willing to pick up a straw, or piece of trash, or open a door for the love of God? I have to admit I don’t really think of those things as being actions that show God’s love. However, when you stop and think about it…anything that makes life better for someone else is the hand of God.

If we take seriously being yoked, and co-workers, with Christ then truly anything we do that moves the Kingdom of Beloved Community forward is God’s work and God is present.

Ordinary Time Excursion-Rachel and Leah

Rachel is one of the better known women of the Bible. She is the beloved, chosen wife of Jacob. After he cheats his brother out of the birthright (the inheritance) his mother sends him to her brother in Haran. Laban has 2 daughters, Rachel whom he loves and Leah who had “weak eyes”.


Rachel’s father, Laban, tricks Jacob into marrying Leah and gains another 7 years of labor from Jacob as payment to marry Rachel. “Jacob went in to Rachel…and he loved Rachel more than Leah, and served Laban for another seven years.” (Genesis 29:30) Even with Jacob’s love, though, Rachel is discontented because she is unable to have children. Her sister, Leah, seems to have them easily. Rachel becomes angry and complains to her husband, “Give me children, or I shall die.” (Genesis 30:1) Like Sarah (who we met a month ago), Rachel takes matters into her own hands and offers her maid Bilhah to Jacob.

Thus begins the wild rivalry between the sisters. “Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive,” says Sir Walter Scott. One wonders if Jacob was aware of the manipulation going on between his wives as they vie for his attention.

“When Leah saw that she had ceased bearing children, she took her maid Zilpah and gave her to Jacob.” (Gen. 30:9) Leah ‘buys’ a night with Jacob from Rachel in exchange for mandrakes (thought to promote fertility). Even when Rachel does conceive and Joseph is born, she yearns for another son. She names him Joseph, saying “May the Lord add to me another son!” (Genesis 30:24) A few years later, she does have a second son, Benjamin, but never has the joy of this child because she dies in childbirth near Bethlehem. (Genesis 35:16-21)

The seeds of the rivalry between the sisters bear dreadful fruit when Leah’s sons rise up against the favored half-brother, Joseph. Their original plan is to kill him, but instead he is sold into slavery. Ultimately Joseph rises to power in Egypt and saves the nation and his family from an extended time of famine. (Genesis 39-49)

Eventually, both Joseph and Leah come to the realization that their lives are part of God’s plan and that even the trials they suffered were for good. In my book, Beloved Leah, she tells her sons,

“My sons, you are all my sons, though I didn’t bear you all. I have raised you and watched you grow into good men, true husbands and loving fathers. Do not forget the God of Israel, your father, when you are in Egypt. Remember and teach your children how He showed grace by redeeming your anger and restoring your brother to you. Joseph has forgiven you. Accept that gift. My God has forgiven you as he has forgiven me. Do not be afraid. Trust in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He has promised to bring you back to this land as a mighty nation. Let go of the remaining fear and grudges against your brother. Do not continue to blame yourselves. The mighty hand of God has turned our evil designs and anger to great good for all.”

Isn’t it interesting that God transforms even our lies and manipulation into a harvest of fruit for the Kingdom of Heaven? God took the jealous rage of the sisters and their sons and used it to save a people and create a “kingdom of priests to serve our God.” (Exodus 19:6, Is. 61:6, Rev. 5:10)

If God can take our less than charitable actions and transform them into good—how much more blessed will our truly loving actions be? Jesus said, “‘Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous; and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.’” (Matthew 10:40-42)

How can we live so that our actions bring blessings? Sir Walter Scott suggests that “A sound head, an honest heart, and an humble spirit are the three best guides through time and to eternity.” Psalm 37 (18-19) says, "The LORD knows the days of the blameless, and their heritage will abide for ever; they are not put to shame in evil times, in the days of famine they have abundance.”

Is it possible that living as a blessing is simply a matter of welcoming Jesus in everyone we meet? We don’t have to do anything grand, even a cup of water can be a blessing to someone. There is a ‘cup’ only you can give. Perhaps it's a real cup of water, or a kindness, or an action, or a donation, or a smile, or something else.

What legacy will you leave behind? Can you share a ‘cup of water’ with someone this week?

Next week we will meet Deborah, a leader of Israel, even though she was a woman.

Centering in God

How is your journey to simplicity this Lent? I’ve found that unexpected bits of life tend to get in the way of keeping to the discipline of a simple life. My focus has been pulled away from God and I’ve become distracted by the little things.

An image that has come to my mind is of the solar system. As planets must stay in their orbit, we are better off when we put God at the center of our lives. Each of us in on our own orbit around the SON, but sometimes we get distracted and start orbiting the little things in our life. These can be good things like our families or perhaps not so important things like our appearance or even things we have no control over like what we believe others think of us.


Leah is an Old Testament woman who also found that her life was complicated by the reality she was faced with. She was the older daughter of Laban in Haran. Her sister, Rachel, was “beautiful and lovely”. Poor Leah is said to have “weak (or tender) eyes.” (Gen. 29:17) That’s an odd description—what does it mean to have weak/tender eyes? Traditionally she has been considered to be less attractive and therefore undesirable.

Whatever the description means, Leah finds herself being used by her father to trick Jacob into a total of 14 years of free labor. Jacob wants to marry Rachel and agrees to work for 7 years in order to marry her. However, on the wedding night Laban substitutes Leah in the marriage bed.

In my book Beloved Leah Jacob is angry when he discovers the deception.

For the rest of the night I let myself forget the morning. I listened to his words of love and whispered them back to him. My exploring hands learned to delight in the feel of his body. Finally he slept in my arms exhausted by our lovemaking. I dozed lightly to awaken when the first light touched the tent. Not wanting the man to awaken, I lay barely breathing watching him sleep.


“I love you Jacob bar Isaac,” I whispered taking in every detail of his face and hair and body. “Thank you God of my husband for this night.” The illusion was nearing an end. He stretched and yawned then rolled toward me.


“My dearest love…” the words died on his lips when he saw my face not Rachel’s. The shock was quickly followed by fury.


Outraged, he demanded, “What have you done? Where is my Rachel?”


I cringed back from the rage in his eyes. Throwing himself out of the bed he rapidly wrapped his clothing around his body. He threw a tunic at me.


“Put that on,” the man snarled. “We will see your father and get to the bottom of this farce.”


Amazingly, my hands didn’t shake as I dressed. A calm of inevitability settled over me. Jacob grabbed my wrist. He stormed across the yard dragging me behind him.


“Laban, Laban bar Nahor come out and face me!” the furious voice resonated through the house. I was sure he could be heard to the ends of Haran.


Father must have expected such a greeting for he came out fully dressed, hair and beard neatly oiled and a calm expression on his face.


“My son, what is this?”


Jacob spun me forward into my father’s arms.


“You tricked me!” the words were level and hard. The brown eyes that were usually gentle and loving were glinting with rage.

Leah continues to live with her feelings of being second best and unlovable even though she is the wife who bears sons for Jacob. She and her sister even enter into competition for Jacob’s affections. “When Rachel saw she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister….[and] said ‘Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to here, that she may bear children through her’…When Leah saw that she had ceased bearing children, she took her maid Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife.” (Gen. 30:1-9)

This competition eventually has disastrous results. The sons of Leah learn to hate their half-brothers, Joseph and Benjamin who Rachel does finally bear.

I learned that sibling rivalry had taken root among the boys. One day I interrupted a wrestling match between Judah and Gad. I scolded my son for taking advantage of his brother’s smaller size.


“He’s not my real brother,” he told me in a whisper.


Appalled, I sat him firmly on the ground. Kneeling to look in his eyes I asked, “Who told you that?”


“Simeon,” the dark eyes look at mine innocently.


“We are all one family,” I said with a slight shake of his shoulders to emphasize the words.


“Simeon says that we aren’t really brothers to Dan and Napthali and Gad and Asher and Joseph,” he persisted trying to convince me.


“You all have the same father,” I told him, “and that makes you brothers.” I had to force the words out because I too wished that Rachel had never offered Bilhah to Jacob and that I had not entered the competition by giving him Zilpah.


Looking at my son, I repeated, “You are all brothers. Besides you should always treat the younger and weaker with kindness.”

Throughout her life, Leah struggles with her self-perception as an unloved and unattractive woman. It is easy to let ourselves get caught up in the cultural messages that say we need to be lovely and accomplish great things. When that happens we forget to be content with having God as our Center, like planets around the sun. Leah discovered that true beauty was the love she had to give and had nothing to do with her appearance or what she did (or did not do).

“For too long, I raged against Rachel and against Jacob for not loving me,” she said. I wanted them to love me for being beautiful. Too late I have learned and understand that they loved me for who I am.”


Jacob bent his head to kiss his wife’s forehead. “You are my faithful Leah. You are the strength of the family,” he whispered.


She seemed almost beautiful as she smiled softly up at the man.


“My husband, God is your strength. He will be with you to bring you to Egypt and back. Your God always keeps his promises.”


Turning her head, she admonished the eleven men still crouched near the bed.


“My sons, you are all my sons, though I didn’t bear you all. I have raised you and watched you grow into good men, true husbands and loving fathers. Do not forget the God of Israel, your father, when you are in Egypt. Remember and teach your children how He showed grace by redeeming your anger and restoring your brother to you. Joseph has forgiven you. Accept that gift. My God has forgiven you as he has forgiven me. Do not be afraid. Trust in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He has promised to bring you back to this land as a mighty nation. Let go of the remaining fear and grudges against your brother. Do not continue to blame yourselves. The mighty hand of God has turned our evil designs and anger to great good for all.”

When we get caught up in the cultural messages, it might be time to step back and take a deep breath and seek God instead of the latest beauty aid or another job to finish. A friend reminded me of a discipline that works to help her re-center with God. She takes time throughout the day to say the Jesus Prayer. It is short enough to be done easily and is actually a great relaxation aid, when done in rhythm to breathing. Before you feel stressed and over-stretched, sit quietly.

The Jesus prayer is just one example of a prayer that can be said while breathing. Many psalms lend themselves to the practice. Breathe in deeply, expanding your diaphragm, on the first half of the verse and out fully on the second. Below are some examples.

Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God-Have mercy on me, a sinner.

The Lord is my strength and my song-And he has become my salvation.

Thy word, O Lord is a lamp to my feet-And a light unto my path
The Lord is my Shepherd-I shall not want
It doesn’t hurt to do this more than once at a time and to return to the prayer regularly throughout the day. Sitting quietly in nature or with a picture of some relaxing natural scene sometimes helps me to relax and re-center, too.

Next week Miriam will offer thoughts on our busyness that separates us from God.

*All quotations are from Beloved Leah by Cynthia Davis. Available online from Amazon.com and the author.