We are thinking about how to move from the isolation of only our own story and the comfortable story of those we know, to learning, understanding and really hearing other stories. The Rev. Canon Leonard Hamlin of the National Cathedral, in his July 18 sermon, noted that we can’t wait for ‘someone else’ to speak, or act. We need to take the first step.
As I’ve mentioned, I think the first step is to listen. And
by that I mean really listen. Not the kind of listening I too often do. You
know, where you are thinking of your response, or what you’ll make for dinner,
or wondering what the text message that just dinged is. To really listen is to Focus
on the other person and their Story that they are telling at that moment.
I recently learned that when the Bishops from the world-wide
Anglican Communion come together they practice three ways of listening esp.
when there are differences of opinion:
o
To listen with Curiosity (not judgment).
o
To be fully present to the conversation and walk
together (instead of thinking of your response).
o
To engage in conversation as a way to witness
together and imagine anew.
I think these would be helpful talents to learn as we move
forward with trying to hear and understand one another’s story. Krystle Cobran,
author, has similar advice in this graphic. We must always remember that all
conversation and relationship is two-sided. My viewpoint is just that ‘mine’
and someone else’s experience, even of the same event, will be different
because of their personal story and history.
Kimberly Knowle-Zeller, a regular contributor to Episcopal Café offered this prayer on July 13, 2021.
What can I say, Lord?
Give me words – your words
To encourage, support,
inspire.
Give me words – your
words
Of hope, healing,
forgiveness.
Make quick to listen
– really listen.
Make me slow to respond
– with attentiveness.
I want words filled with
love dripping with grace overflowing with kindness.
Help me offer words to
family, friends, children strangers, neighbors, and myself.
Keep my words pointing to
you – your kingdom, your peace paving a path towards justice for
all.
Maybe make this prayer part of your preparation when you get ready to have a difficult conversation, or to listen to someone else's story. Or pray the Prayer of St. Francis: "Make me an instrument of your peace..."
Next week I’ll ponder what other acts I can consider in
order to be someone who works to bring Beloved Community to reality, even if it’s
just with one or two people.
