Last time we
considered the idea of Hospitality as being Present with someone else.
Hospitality is taking time to listen and spend time learning what is in someone’s
heart. Abraham in the Old Testament and Mary of Bethany were our models.
From
hospitality might spring the opportunity
to Love someone by offering Friendship. When you hear another person’s
story, you may discover that your friendship has given them a shoulder to cry
on or a friend to rejoice with. Perhaps you can suggest an idea, or a new
perspective to help with a difficult situation. Or maybe just being a listening
ear is all they really need.
As friends
we have the chance to walk through difficult times with another. Perhaps it is
the illness of a spouse, or death of a child, or loss of a job. Maybe it is
celebrating a milestone or birth or marriage. Both joys and sorrows are better
when shared with someone who cares.
Last Sunday
I joined in a Bible study at a church I was visiting. The topic was the
Friendship of David and Jonathan found in I Samuel 18. We hear that “As soon as [David] had finished speaking to
Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved
him as his own soul…Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved
him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him
and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his
belt” (1 Samuel 18:1, 4-5)
Jonathan’s
friendship, his love and support of David caused him to stand up to his father
and to help David escape from King Saul’s jealousy and rage. After discovering
that Saul was set on killing David, Jonathan meets him in a field and sends him
away. “Jonathan said to David, “Go in
peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me,
and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and
Jonathan went back to the town.” (I Samuel 20:42)
Much later,
as king, David repays his friend (by then dead in battle) by caring for the
only remaining relative of Saul and Jonathon. “David asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I
can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” Now there was a servant of Saul’s household
named Ziba. They summoned him to appear before David, and the king said to him,
“Are you Ziba?” “At your service,” he replied. The king asked, “Is there no one
still alive from the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?” Ziba answered
the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is lame in both feet.”
When Mephibosheth son
of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. David
said, “Mephibosheth!” “At your service,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said
to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan.
I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you
will always eat at my table.” Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant,
that you should notice a dead dog like me?”
Then the king summoned
Ziba, Saul’s steward, and said to him, “I have given your master’s grandson everything
that belonged to Saul and his family. 10 You and your sons and your servants are
to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master’s grandson
may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat
at my table.” (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.) Then Ziba said to
the king, “Your servant will do whatever my lord the king commands his servant to
do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons.” (2 Samuel
9:1-3, 6-11)
We
don’t have to form deep relationships to offer a form of friendship. We may not
know the life story of the clerk at the grocery store, but we can be supportive
of their efforts by a friendly smile and a ‘thank you’ for their work. Even if
we are perhaps frustrated by the speed, or lack of speed, at the checkout, we
can be friendly. After all, you don’t know what the person behind the counter
is dealing with. Perhaps her feet and back ache, or he just got bad news, or is
feeling ill. Your patience and understanding friendliness might just be the
boost to help get through the rest of the day.
Our friendships may not be tested to the extent that David and Jonathan’s was. We may not have to defend the life of a friend or take a stand against someone else for our friend. However, whenever we are available to listen, to sympathize, to pray, to hold a hand, we are offering friendship. When we set aside our own needs or wants for someone else's good, we are friendship. Jonathan gave up his inherited place as prince of Israel so that David might live and become king.
True friendship
looks beyond the surface and overlooks or forgives many things. Our model for
true friendship is Jesus. The Casting Crowns song Jesus Friend of Sinners reminds us that too often we are the ones “Always
looking around but never looking up…A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a
heart divided”. It is easy to point out what is wrong with everyone else. Real friendship
looks for the good in others. The song begs, “Oh Jesus, friend of sinners Open
our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers Let our hearts be led
by mercy Help us reach with open hearts and open doors Oh Jesus, friend of
sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours.” That is how we can
learn to be friends to the world in union with Jesus. We know and “remember we are all the least of these Let
the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees Nobody knows what
we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded What if we put down
our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did”. We are not really better than someone else. No matter how
much we try to make our live look pulled together we are “that lost cause and I was the outcast But you died for sinners just
like me, a grateful leper at Your feet.” When we remember that Jesus is our truest friend, we can learn to act as better friends to others in our lives.
How can I be more of a friend this week? How can
I be more Christ-like in my interactions with those I know well, and with those
I know only slightly?
